As everyone knows, it’s unhealthy to talk politics over a family dinner or holiday meal. Or is it? Political outcomes affects everyone, so it might be in all of our best interest to find a way to talk about concerns and issues in a non-aggressive way. While it may be personal or you feel passionate about an issue, you may want to leave the passion at the door and just focus on active listening. For example, focus on the other person when they are talking looking for verbal and non-verbal cues with a goal of understanding their feelings rather than waiting to respond in a contradictory manor.
Seek to understand, not persuade – the goal shouldn’t be to persuade someone to your way of thinking but to find a common area of concern and discuss ways to change the outcome to a common goal. If there isn’t a common area of concern, then find a topic that is concerning to the other(s) and rationalize a conclusion/solution that would satisfy you both. Compromise in conversations like this should be a tool used to bring favor to both parties.
Explore the essential – establish what is the root issue or essential outcome of a problem. Get rid of the political “fluff” around an issue and establish a fundamental issue that must be addressed. What is the goal that needs to be achieved to provide a favorable outcome for that person or you? Make sure you focus on a narrow and precise goal and ways to address a means to get to that goal.
Check your assumptions – do not assume anything. Use fact based information to substantiate your issue and gain consensus on the groups understanding of the problem presented. Don’t assume everyone understands the problem presented either. Make sure you listen for or present facts about the problem and the possible outcomes the issue may present as a hardship or negative outcome for someone. Build common ground by navigating without assumptions on views, outcomes needed, or ways to resolve the issue.
Affirm the person you are talking to. Too often we are too quick to dismiss what someone is saying. Keep you ears open and listen to what someone is saying. Don’t go on the offensive when you feel they are misguided, but confirm you are listening to them, repeat back what they are saying, and engage in asking questions about their issue/position rather than a dismissive attitude. Meet them where they are and help guide the conversation to a constructive conclusion.
Set the stage – make sure the timing is right, the others you are communicating with are receptive and you are ready to listen. Leave anger or other emotions at the door and approach a difficult conversation with an open mind and thoughts.
Have faith that this can be done and be open to learning as well as educating.